I actually spent 45 minutes writing a really long and thoughtful post about being a feminist in the workplace, but Squarespace quit on me and the post was deleted. Have you ever been on a phone call with someone only to find out that they haven't heard you for the last 5 minutes?
Yeah. That's the flavor of frustration I'm dealing with.
Instead of trying to remember everything I wrote, I'll address something along the same lines.
I work with a bunch of wonderful and kind men. Some of them are extremely sympathetic to the difficulties that women face, and the rest just haven't gotten to a point where they understand. With that second group, you do run into low-key sexist comments from time to time. You know, stuff like using "girl" as an insult or generalizing women as emotional overly sensitive menstruating monsters (not me though, because I'm seen as one of the dudes).
I am recognizing a change in me, though. Through encouragement from my own male boss I have become a defender. I don't hesitate to point out sexist comments anymore. I'm trying to educate people on the backwards thinking that is lurking in the shadows of their "innocent" comments.
Unfortunately, there is now this new slippery slope before me.
It's easy to get caught up in the anger and the outrage and the constant sensitivity to misogynist thinking. There are friends of friends that I can't be around because comments they've made about women. The ugly side of feminism is not exactly a secret, and you see women who start dehumanizing and condemning "the enemy" for offhand comments.
I'm scared that I could get caught in that! I've had my nights where I stew in disgust, and it's not a healthy way to be. I want to stand up for what I believe in and be a force for good. I want to tell you that I'm a feminist, and that I hope that doesn't make you or my coworkers uncomfortable.
I don't want to become someone who lives to be outraged. I'd rather live to make things better.